Happy New year's

Here comes yet another new year. My gaol is to be under 200 by the end of it. That's only a 15 pound loss so I should not have any problem reaching that goal. I lost 15 this year so it should be doable.

Steady but very very slow.

I have been staying dedicated to eatting better and less carbs but not much change on the scale. I keep hoping i will make enough small changed that it will add up to enough and ill start to lose weight.

Are you addicted to carbs I know I am. Here is a test to find out.


YES / NO
After a full breakfast, do you get hungry before it's time for lunch?

Do you have a difficult time stopping, once you start to eat starches, snack foods, junk food, or sweets?

Do you sometimes feel unsatisfied even though you have just finished a meal?

Does the sight, smell, or even the thought of food, sometimes stimulate you to eat?

Do you sometimes eat even though you are not really hungry?

Are you sometimes unable to keep from snacking at night?

After a large meal, do you feel very sluggish, almost drugged?

Do you get unexplainably tired and/or hungry in the afternoon?

Have you at times continued eating even though you felt uncomfortably full?

Have you been on diet after diet, only to lose weight then regain it again?



Scoring

(Count your "yes" answers)

0 - 2 You do not appear to be carbohydrate addicted.
3 - 4 You appear to have a mild carbohydrate addiction which, at times, you may be able to control (although not at all times) and with some difficulty.
5 - 7 Your score indicates that you are moderately addicted to carbohydrates. At times you may be able to control your eating but you may find that stress, premenstrual changes, tiredness, boredom, unexpressed anger or pressure may increase your carbohydrate cravings.
8 - 10 You have scored in the severe carbohydrate addiction range. You may be struggling to control your eating without realizing that your body has been fighting you, literally driving you to eat and then storing the excess food energy as fat.

New Monday

Here comes yet anouther new week lets see how much motivation I can find. I really think food is an addiction but how to kill or kick the addiction is beyond me. HMMM must give up bread.

SO/SO

Doing okay on the 30 day of meditation but have found that doing it at night is a very bad idea. My mind was flooded with memories of moms last night and i sat in the other room and cryed for an hour. No the spirital centering i was looking for. Morning time works much better all fresh and new. Been fighting a cold/fever bug thing. I am really ready for it to go away. Not doing much work on the diet side of things. I do really well till about 4pm then I eat too much of bad things from there out. Im a dork what can I say. In other news I HAVE A JOB YAY>!!!!! $600 every two weeks for 15-20 hours a week. I got to work from home for the most part so it fits right in to my life. or at least it should we shall see next week when I start. I hope I love it. That extra money would make our life a WHOLE lots easyer to pay for. So for the most part to doing good but also not really getting any skinnyer which is really the whole darn point of this blog so its just a so/so life lol

New 30 day Challange

Yesterday while enjoy Mikes day off I ran across a utube video on yoga. I was searching for strerching and yoga for em and I to start doing in the morning. She has recently started dance and is as stiff as a board so I figured be a good mommy and help her out with this little thing. Anywho Tara Stiles is from New York she teaches yoga and does diffrent You Tube videos about yoga, meditation, eatting right and trying new things that are good for you. Im going to start her 30 day meditation challange. Meditate 5 or more mins a day for 30 days. I used to do this all the time and got away from it when mom got sick. Maybe when i needed it most. So time to get life back on track. As for diet hmmm well. I am still trying. to be honest I dont want to diet I want to change my life style so that I never have to diet again. So each day im getting a little bit better at making a healthy choice. I sorta like this way of thinking. I walk in to make a meal im not on a diet so i can have ANYTHING I want. but the plumb is better for me then the ice cream and I get to choose what its going to be. I lost 1 pound last week with this theory so lets see if maybe I can lose two this week. Now im logging off to compleat my 5 mins.

Extreams

Last week was a wash. For some reason if I dont start monday off with a bang the rest the week rushes by and I get nothing done that I wanted to. I had a nice long chat with Mike on the way up to Pinetop and we decided I try to hard. I so want Emily to do well that I end up adding to much stuff and making life just to hard for all of us. My mom very much did the UNschooling approach. It work I know I turned out fine Josh did too. We both have gone to college and done well. Even if josh has never gotten a degree. Regardles of knowing this I want more for Emily. I want her to have the power of knowledge on her side. So in short we picked three things to take out of her daily list of things to do. This will allow us to catch up on more important things and finish her days on time and not behind for the next week. As for weight im so sick of seeing 216.2 as there is only 3 days left before my one month goal is up and i have lost about one pound LMAO (at my self) O well theres always next month.

Goals Check in

After 17 days turns out I have met some of my goals

1. Give up Joe. I love him but like all men he is bad for me lol
- Joe is gone and out the door. I happly get the pot ready for mike each day and set the timer to go off promply at 5:30 am. Which means by the time I roll out of bed at 830 the pot is off and less tempting to get in to.

2. Blog once a day.
Hmm well I have not been blogging every day but darn close for the most part and it does m ake me feel better to have some where to vent. While only Lydia can see what I fee

l like venting about Im going with the idea of mainly talking to myself. Its odd Mom always wanted me to blog to her but I always over thought everything. When it come to you Miss Alydia I know you understand a im sorta crazy and will love me any way. I knew that with mom too but there is non of the self pressuer in this relationship so I know your forever away but you do great things for me.

3. Get Emily started on second grade and keep up with it.
YAY Emily has already started and we are currently finishing week 2. We have had to do home work on Saturday both weeks so far but were still getting used to things and I think that timing will work its self out over the next two weeks.

4. Find a job. Turns out pay for two households and a new house cost a ton.
HMM job is sorta taken off the table at this point. While we still dont really have "enough" money but just enough to scrap by for the rest of this summer and we can start saving in the winter time once cost for this are lower and we wont have to pay for gas for mike to get to work any more. Also our guess is that he should get a raise when he gets put in to his own truck. Also turns out I am not handing being off work very well but I am trying. Finding things for EM and I to do in order to fill the time is helping. This next week she is going to start Jazz dance and then Wednesday we are goign to a homeschool park day. Also thinking about going to ASU for my masters but have not put any effort in to that idea yet.

5. Lose 5+ pounds. Just checked current weight 217.4 DAMN I have gained 10 pounds since moving here. THIS MUST STOP!!!!

LMAO well i have lost some but nothing to jump up and down about 214.2 So 3 pounds down only need 2 more in abouts two weeks. If I say at this rate I should be okay.

So goals that still need work

1. Lose 2 more pounds
2. Get ems school work done by friday so were not having to play catch up on saturdays and can spend more time with mike.

Small Changes

They say small changes will equal great reward lets hope that is true. I am still getting the hang of this whole stay at home mom thing. The house stay rather clean. Even the bed gets made everyday. Ems doing okay in homework we may be a little tiny bit behind already but were getting there and I am still making small changes to a healthy life stly. We went to the library this week and I got some books on low GI eatting. Brushing up on the facts and finding new things to make. I am off my sleeping pills again and back to eatting healthy for the most part. If i could just find the will power to not go for the sweets. Heres to finding will power it must be out there somewhere.

fing bored

I know I can't expect others to make me happy but the whole point of the weekend is to be able to seem mike but intead he has spent all day out in the heat doing free yard work for other people. What does that say about what he thinks of hanging out with me.no thanks I would rather be out in 115 degrees. I know this move was going to make everyone so happy. Some how I missed the happy pill but the rest seemed to have got the right dose durring the trip.

Equal Pain

I also am having a problem caring. I lost a little when I first started to blog again but i have no been very forward moving on dieting. I did give up coffee have not had any in two or three days and the head is even not hurting this afternoon. I have been eatting a some what healthy. Yogurt or oatmeal of some sort for breakfast. Small lunches. and even dinners have not but overly huge and out done. Yet the pounds seem to not only want to stay on but increas in size. Only time will tell.

What's eating me.

Not doing good on the diet, if I'm not careful I'll lose all the progress. Part of me really doesn't care that much I suppose and I really loathe that part of me.

Getting Grovey

Life seems okay. Weight today 214.8 no loss but a little gain. O well it happens I have in no way really been trying to diet but I think about it at least once a day lol. Ems on second day of school work and so far so good. She is not fighting me on it YET. I hope we can keep it up. I have also set up a schedual for us and Im hoping this will help. We do 30 mins of reading from her what your 1st and 2nd grader need to know. We should be done with the 1st grade one but it never happened last year so were making up for it this year. After reading we get dressed and make our bed and clean our rooms. Then we do 30 mins of HOP ( thanks to lydia) We have now bought K-3 HOP program on ebay of course and it has helped SOOOO much. We got the K set free so we started there but she is zooming right along so I would guess we will be done with K with in the month and moving on to 1st grade. I hope she does just as well there so we can spend the rest the year on 2nd grade level reading. After HOP time we move to paper work. She does about 8 two sided pages a day. We have a full online program and I have read that alot of parents that use it do nothing more but REALLY kids got to learn to write at some point. after paperwork we do computer time and our last thing is 15 mins of Alone reading time. Right now she is just reading the HOP books from the K set that she already know but once we get her a little more cought up I found this online site that does book test for library book just like AR in school. They even send her free gifts once she starts getting points. after reading time she does her afternoon chores and then FREEDOM. Home schooling is so much easyer when your not trying to work and go to school at the same time. While I may be adding school back in it looks like for now no work unless I can find something part time from home. It would be really nice but im not going to hold my breath.

Off with a Bang

So I seem to be bloging more about life then weight but I say weight is directy connected to life. Today Emily start second grade and so far things are off to a good start. Or at least as good as they get for homeschool life. We didnt start on time but we started so I am happy. I have not clue what I weight today but im doubting any huge loss. Mike went back to work today of course and Im okay with it so far. Also my grandmother and her next door lady have asked Mike to do yard work. $200 a month for the two yards. That 200 puts us above water. I would still like to find a part time job. I know dad has a few bills that I have yet to take over. He sure gave up the light bill but is keeping on to 3 little bills. He will be out of money soon and i know he hate the idea of us supporting him but why make a big deal. Put your big boy pants on and lets talk numbers. No coffee today but yesterday I was not as good.Overall good day. Going to grams tonight so mike can start on their yard and my main goal once emily is done with school work.... A NAP lol

LOVE LOVE LOVE

Okay so I have been less then inspired. Haveing Mike here for the weekend makes the weekends my new best friend. I know they have been for most people in america for 100 years but I have never worked a 9-5 monday thru friday job where the weekend really made any difference. So love number two is my Lydia is writing again. It helps alot gives me somthing to look forward to on checking the blogs. Mom wanted me to participate in the blogs for years and never have I had any interest. Now I want to participate and she is not here. My thrid love for the day is dad got up started cleaning the kithen and even decided to make food. Eggs bacon and pancakes. I know its only going to be short lived but its nice to have him out of his bedroom doing somthing productive. He mowed the lawn yesterday too. So there we have it my three loves for the day. Mike, Lydia and Dad. As for weight im 214 need to lose 7 pounds to get back to my TX weight. As for job LMFAO its not really happening but. As long as we buy nothing and do nothing fun we will skate by with $50 still in the bank. Not alot but positive it better then negitive. School for Emily starts on monday and I can't get a job then I feel I should try and be the best darn 2nd grade teacher Emily could ever have. Im sure its just cuz Mike is some and I fear my funk will come back on Monday but ill try to bask in it for now.

CORN!!

I have no clue what I weigh anymore but i am going to but I am going to take a wild guess at 205, could be less. Could be more (realistically maybe). I have come to the conclusion that I am pretty shitty at dieting.Unless the pounds are flying off I amjust not that motivated. I watched a quasi documentery at about corn this morning and I realized that corn is evil. I believe it is what is making America fat. So... I am going to see if I can live a week without eating anything that contains a corn product. I know cows eat corn but I am not about to give up milk at this juncture. Breakfast HEB shredded wheat. No corn or corn products there. Score!!

I get it, I really do. I had a pair of her reading glasses and I just gave them to Dona when I saw her. I know what it is like to want to hold on, after my Lindy died I let a few things go too quickly and then I found myself wanting them. Just wanting to hang onto something I suppose, something I could touch. An object an item that said hey you are real I didn't just dream you up. Not like you could ever think that about your mother but it has been 20 years since Lindy left me and and honestly I don't feel her very much any more and that makes me sad, I remember what she looks like because of the pictures that I have, but the ones in my mind are not as clear. I am so sorry that you ever have to feel alone and part of me hurts very much for your father because I cannot even begin to imagine what his loss must feel like but then another part of me wants to knock some sense into the man. I don't know that he knows how this is effecting you. This is all that he can do to be there with you, and i don't know any answers to anything. I always suggest pouring out your soul on paper. Probably because that is the only way that I know how to do it. Sometimes I see someone with hair like Brandy's and I will stare a little too long, long enough to play a little fantasy reel in my head. If they don't turn around I just pretend it's her. If you are going to keep socks, keep the fuzzy ones. She really liked them. I'll take whatever u don't want that you think she'd like me to have. I can send postage. I saw a picture of Em the other day and I could find Brandy's face in hers and it made me smile. I tried talking to God about the Brandy situation but so far all I can think to say is Dear God this blows and I guess God isn't dignifying my assesment of the situation with a response because I haven't received any messages. I am not the best friend in the world but I'm here. I'm not going anywhere. I miss you and Emily so much.

Funk Be Gone

Made it thru all of moms clothing yet again. this time to pull stuff out the rest of the family might want. They all seemed shocked that I was not wanting to keep ever last sock. Will her socks bring her back or make them more easy. NO more then anything its a big pile of reminders why hold on to that. I got ahold of Mishy. THe first cloak mom got was given to her from Mishy so I needed to see if she wanted it back. I also had the dress mom wore to my brothers wedding so i called them to see if they wanted that. Then had to call gram and ask her about some stuff that she had made for her. and things that were gergrams. Making all these calls just rings to close to home of Dec 4th. But just ask Joshua I have no idea how hard it is to call some one and tell them she was dead. Really, for some reason I remember being the only family memeber there to do it. If it wernt for Lydia I would been 100% alone. And alone is just how I feel now. I have anxity over the most stupid stuff. I cry all the damn time and I hate feeling this way. Living with dad is not all bad but I live in a constent fear of upseting him or saying somthing dumb to set him off. My life feel so lost and huge lack of purpose is fallowing me around like a dark cloud. Only there is no clouds here its 110 and sunny.

Ready Set UM NO NOT YET

Interview went well. Maybe to well. They want me to work full time!!! So even though I really wanted to give this a try its not going to work. I thought about putting Emily in school for about two hours. The whole time a felt like crying and determined myself the most awful mom alive. I hate that the normal thing almost every parent does makes me feel like such a bad parent. Then again the lady at the job was not helping much. Her 4 year old called from school on her cell phone WTF cell phone. yeah I thought that too. and the started to cry because her boyfriend broke up with her. WTH OMG boyfirend and Im thinking about sending my kid to one of these places UM NO. But non the less I called gram who is all about getting em back in school and asked her to find some options for me. Talked to Mike about it. Godbless him or curse him but he put the breaks on the whole deal. School is a no go for him. He hated it. He saw how much em hated it and how much it changed her the first time. He is in no way on board with sending her back to public school. So back to square one. Home school starts Monday. I have no job. LOL Its funny how by not being able to do it all I feel bad. Its really sick. Mom said for me to stop but its like an addiction. I want to be able to work, go to school, and homeschool em. If only there were three of me. On positive note. We did discover that the metro train they have here goes all the way to Tempe so it would still be 35-45 min trip out there it would cost a whole lot less taking the train then driving and i can study while we get there. I dont have a track right by my house but with in two miles and dad said he would drop me off or watch em while mike does. On to other goals. Gave up Joe for one day but last night really really sucked. the last few days and nights have really. I just keep thinking about mom and it makes so very sad. weight loss was not amazing but ill take it im at 213.00 so 4.4 pounds down. I only had a small goal of 5 for the month so maybe ill be able to double it. but im not going to hold my breath on that idea.

I really need to get in to a grove here and find like minded people for support. THIS FUCKING SUCKS I WANT MY MOM!!!!!!!!!!!!!

Day 3 for the 900th time =)

As I start day three I'm already down four pounds yay... 213.4 I know that the pace won't stay but the outfit I'm wearing for my job interview fits way betterthis week then it did last week. For today's meal were having oatmeal/ lunch of some type / dinner with beef it's not clear yet. well I can think of nothing else to say. Maybe I'll blog twice who know but I'm off to get ready for my interview.

Up up and away we go

I did okay yesterday. Not bad for yet anouther new start. Yogurt / grilled cheese / stake with vegs / and yeah ice cream. Darn it so close. So this morning just half a cup of coffee for me. I would just stop but I fear the out come of cold turkey. Today I'm thinking oatmeal part of a cheese crisp with beans and for dinner a spicy beef stir fry. Fruit salad for snack. On to other goals I have a job interviwe tomorrow.... hmmmmm..... need the money but I really hate to be MIA durring the start of the school year. I know em will adapt but I wish one time she didn't have to. I'm sure its good for her in the long run some how lol. So job would be with none other then jenny craig lol. I hope they hire fat people too. I figured i would be better at connecting then any skiny stick anyways. the job would be nights, weekends and what fun holidays. So basicly when mikes home I wont be. I just keep reminding my self just 1.5 years we will have enough things paid off that one income would be no problem. I really dont mind the idea of wirking gets.me out of the house I jusr dont like not being home when Mike is. Well lets,see if I can get some sleep before the pip gets up. As for weight 214.6 all water weight loss im sure but all take it and hope to lose some real weight soon. Very very soon.

Being bad never tasted so good

Well Lydia I'm glad I'm not to far behind but I did nothing but gain two weeks ago in San Diego so that put me even farther behind. not sure what my weight is at the moment but if I had to guess 215. I have been doing better. Now that Mike is working I in no way feel pressured to cook three meals a day. Only meal required now is dinner. breakfast has been yogurt and oatmeal, lunch leftovers from dinner before or something half way healthy. Dinner seems to throw all of my good day out the window. I know its because i have dad livign here now and he wont eat alot of a vegs. (well wont eat any for that matter) Its a working progress. My goal this month. GIVE UP THE COFFEE. I do it to my self over and over again. I give it up and turn around and start drinking it again. If it was just plain black offee it wouldnt matter so much. BUT NO half cream half coffee is not helping me. I feel very much in a slump. I wouldnt say im depressed but i wouldnt say im jumping for joy happy. Ems not doing school for anouther two weeks so im short on things to keep me busy. Also you would think being in a city with 100 people i know to start with would make the move easyer. Well it didnt. I feel alone and i get around the family and feel even more so that way. Dads home with me all day but that does little to change the alone part as he hides in his room all day. So maybe my second goal for the month will be blogging once a day. If i dont have people here to talk to at least I can talk to my self on my blog.

So my five goals for the next 30 days
1. Give up Joe. I love him but like all men he is bad for me lol
2. Blog once a day.
3. Get Emily started on second grade and keep up with it.
4. Find a job. Turns out pay for two households and a new house cost a ton.
5. Lose 5+ pounds. Just checked current weight 217.4 DAMN I have gained 10 pounds since moving here. THIS MUST STOP!!!!

Thats it for this month lets see how well i did in 30 days

I felt bad

I felt bad about kicking Aprils ass on the diet so I gained a little weight back to make her feel better. I hovering somewhere around the dreaded 200 mark. Too much summer traveling and junk food. So here is your chanc to catch up Ape. I will have you know that I am drinking nothingt but protein shakes for the next week so I dont intend to continue my downward spiral, Whenever I need encouragement I just look at the picture of you and I at the Lux Cafe in Houston. My face is freaking ginormous in that picture. I also have my BMI sheet from the childrens museum and every time I look at that I just think to myself WTF? I had intended to try 3 new things last month. I actually counte trying a Peanut butter snickers as a new thing and sharing it with Lindy's boyfriend as another (because I usually would have eaten it by myself. Scratch the shake thing that may have to start to tomorrow. I am probably taking Blazer man to schlitterbahn and how am I going to do the shake thing there. Might still do it. It will be a test of my resolve.

Feeling positive

I have all my meals planned out for the day and all my numbers are with in the limits. Meal 1. Oatmeal and coffee. I really need to give up the coffee (AGAIN) Meal 2. Chicken and rice soup and sm. salad. Meal 3. Soy and sesame pork steak with more salad. for my Snack Im planing on having pineapple. Not sure what the heck im going to do for the rest of this week but lets hope its all low cal. and well thought out lol. If only some one would do that thinking out part for me. I think im going to look back on old post to remember what i was eating when i lost this first 20 pounds.

Time to stop dragging...

Lydia!!!!! In so proud of you and even happier to seethed you har blogged. As you can tell I have not been. Bad me lol. Well current weight is 210 so turns out 1 poud loss since las log in but really three pound gain since I left tx as I had gotten down to 207. I have vacation in two weeks so I'm goin to try to bust out of these last ten pounds holding me above 200. I so want so see a one for the first number when I look down. So time to stop dragging my feet and that 40 pounds of water. To doing as well as lydia cyz your kicking my ass right now =)

I just thought of something. If I lose 14 more pounds, I will have lost the weight of my 7 year old son. Try lifting him, he's heavy.

Things that weigh 40lbs

Holy cow was I really lugging this around 24/7? 5 gallons of water weighs 40lbs!!!!

189

Excercise... who knew? New job forces me to move my ass! I have lost ten pounds in the last week no joke. It maybe water weight for all I know but when I steppd on the Dr.'s scale today I was elated. April and I weighed ourselves and calculated our BMI's at th echildren's museum in Houston in February. I weighed in at a whopping 230, talk about scared straight. I had no clue how big I had gotten. So by that mesurement I have lost a whopping 41 pounds!!! Wow, still feel and look fat, but I feel better. I am almost not obese anymore. 10 more pounds and I might venture into the overweight category. Stay tuned for the thing that weigh 40 pounds blog.

Back on track

I have been so off track might as well call it off roading. After u got sick I never when back to really on a diet. I did lose what I had gained durring the flu but nothing more so Wednesday I'm getting back at it. I have today off so Im waiting till that's over. This time is going to be harder as I'm doing it alone mikes not interested in any diet till after the move. Which is my reason for the big push. I really really want to get under 200. Will it happen in the next two weeks Um no I doubt it but I'm only 11 pounds away. I'm 1/4 the way to my goal I must keep going. I can do it.

Not Much Change

Here it is already mid May and no change. Still at 211. This flu has really got me down. I am having the hardest time staying up the whole day and really start to feel bad after 3pm each day. I know i could lose more if i could just start to feel better grr. I really hope next week ill be better and can start moving in the right direction. Im so excited to be under 210.

Going well

I reached 211 today. In no way have I been reaching my 2 pounds a week goal but I'm still headed in the right direction which is all I can really ask for. I have not been really good the last few weeks but eating so much betting then I used to. while I dont think ill reach my goal of 180 by the end of July I might get close. To be honest I would be extatic to get under 200 by the end of the summer.

Well I have managed to keep 25 plus pounds of weight off which is great but I don't really feel particularly accomplished. I think that if I am going to be successful I just have to go all out. I have been way to extravagant with my diet lately. I look at the pictures that I took in Nashville and I can see that the weight loss is significant. My new bra size is 34 G double G. Is there even such a thing. God's sense of humor I guess. Really Lord am fine with a 34 inch back, can you please take some off my gut or butt even? PLEASE Okay I am begging you. I know that I will lose a bunch of weight with my new job as I will b constantly on the move, it's a very physical job. 50lb photo cart, lots of walking moving bending for shots. I'm looking forward to it. I have my childcare all worked out but I haven't started yet so still a bit nervous that for some reason it will not happen. I am a bit of a pessimist that way I guess. If I don't kick it into gear soon, April is going to catch up with me on the weight loss. I am a bit competitive, I have always known that about myself but I really didn't realize how competitive I was until Yang pointed it out to me. I have started drinking Vanilla Silk shakes. Probably not low on the glycemic index but very low cal. I have decided that I am sending L away for college, I will miss her but she really needs to get out on her own. I am a stress eater and she certainly does not make my life any easier. maybe I would have been like her as a teen if I had me as a mother. I am glad she is what she is though. It will get her farther in life than I have gone that is for sure. It's hard to say who or what I would have been under different circumstances. I'm kind of in a funk right now.

Going going keep that motivation going

So far I am down to 212 a new low yay. I think in really starting to get a Handel on my life with food. I started this diet with my friends as always. I assumed we would all last two weeks top and be back to are old ways. Done are still going strong an this time one of them is me. I am very proud of my self. I have never made it this long before. Now having that said have I been good every day 100% of the time no way. But tue important thing is I don't get mad at my self for having a yummy meal and go right back to low carb way that next meal or day. Who knew all I had to do was cut the bread. I have heard it over and over again but I was addicted to it and could not live with out. Now I only get sourdough or low carb wraps. White potatos they are a thing of the past if I'm really craving a cut up two very small red potato or just have a yam. I have been reading alot on the glycemic index and the loads of foods. They said if you can get the Gl low the weight would start to come off with almost no effort and they were soooo right.

I hope to keep up the good work and get to a healthy weight with in the next 12 months.

-2 , +2 = :(

One week I lose two pounds than next week gain two pounds it's really starting to pissing me off grrrr

Bunless Burgers

Today we had burgers with out the bun.
We used a 4oz of 96% fat free ground beef made into a very flat patty
season with pepper, cayenne pepper, and garlic. Melt 1/2oz of fat free
Mozzarella cheese and top with 1.5oz of baby bella mushrooms. On the side
we had 1.7oz of sliced avocado with a pinch of salt. To keep burgers from becoming dry add a little watter when the pan starts to dry. Use the same pan to cook the mushrooms to add flavor and again add water or chicken stock if the pan becomes dry. I also put a dab of mustard for dipping.

This meal came out to
264 Cals
12.6 Grams of fat
7.7 Carbs
3.9 Grams of fiber
30.5 Grams of Protin

Week seven

Tomorrow is week seven. So far I have lost 10 pounds. Which is good always better to lose in 7weeks of trying than gain. I however feel no different and look no different from what I can tell. Clothes are all still tight and the naked body is well no fun to look at. I was hoping for more loss and more of a noticeable change but on the bright side I am 1/4 of the way to my first goal!!! I really want to lose these 40 (now 30) pounds. I am thinking about going to San Diego with my family at the end of July. I know that I'm supposed to lose all the weight by May 1st but there is no way that is going to happen so my new goal for my self is 180 by July 25th. That is 15 weeks away, so I'll need to lose two pounds a week. Great thing is I'm already loosing a little more then 1 pound per week so just a little more exercise and I should be able to make two pounds a weeks. Other good thing is 2 pounds a week is the recommended goal.

To Many Carbs 216

I knew it was going to happen but at least it was only a few ounces. I had a doughnut and 5 dove chocolate squares. O how they were so good. Lunch I had a BBQ Plate. However The BBQ was just nasty so I skipped it, the potato salad had onions so I had about half a cup. The pinto beans I ate all of. For dinner we had green chili (roast with green chilis and tomatos) along with home made red beans. Turns our red beans are better for you then pinto beans and to me they teast the same. Today I had half a cup of coffee (trying to get off the junk AGAIN) and fat free yogurt. For lunch we are having half a slice of sour dough bread. BBQ Roast and half an ounce of cheese. Dinner is chicken stir fry. We have found a stir fry sauce that is zero fat, low cal, and very spicy which really just makes it by far one of our fav healthy meals so far. What has amazed me the most is that some days we eat way less then 1000 cals. When before I was never able to get down to 1200 cals a day now Im adding things to make it get above 500. I am also started to see a change in mike. He was sure i was starving him when i first started weighing our food and only giving him 2-4 ounces of meat and half a plate of vegs with no extra carbs. However it seems he is getting used to it and even when we are being bad he is not so fast to eat a meal made for 7 people.

203

Should have weighed myself on Monday, then I would feel good about my weight loss. As it is I just feel stagnant.

215.4 A new low

Yay a new low for me. Moves me just a little bit closer to my goal. Im not sure that ill lose any more today as we had many more crabs today then any one should have while trying to lose weight. But then again my goal is almost no carbs so who knows.

218.2 and we start again

So I am still down from my start weight of 225 but two pounds more then the 216 I got down to. If I can lose 7 pounds and really keep it off each time we try I might really be getting some where. So here it to my next 7 pounds or maybe even ten. As for my may 1st goal that is a goner 36 pounds and only 26 days to do it there is just no way. I however refuse to call it a loss. While Josh was unwilling to change the end date it would be unfair to be hard on my self for not being able to lose weight durring one of the hardest most sad parts of my life. So my goal of 180 is still on but it's so I can be healthy and make Josh stop smoking. Which in return will help with my dad stoping. So here is to just being healthy.

Back on track

Tomorrow is back to eating right planning meals ahead of time and no more eating out. Now that dad has bought a house I really need to start saving. We have a budget of 250$ for two weeks of food but we always go over and some times by alot. I new to figuer out some way to eat healthy and not pay a small fortune. I also need to get in to Bette shape before we move. I wantto be able to go hiking an swimming and look half way good while doing. I also miss my friend lydia and plan to track her down today.

Diet starts again today

I went to Nashville after a crazy tense 2 weeks. I'm guessing that I gained 5 plus pounds. I'm not even weighing in today. Please see Wisdom blog for full details. Been arguing with husband, and shoved a bunch of crap in my mouth yesterday to try and make myself feel better. Of course I just feel fat today. My head hurts like mad.

To be continued

Yum fried food and ice cream!!! O wait is this a diet blog??? Hmm well it's vacation time and that just does not go with diets. we will start back up on Tuesday. So here is my new thought I'm thinking about seeing what it takes to be a registered dietitian. I could help other poor fat people learn to cook and treat there body better. Then I would still sorta be counseling but not the crazy sick people just the fat from life sick people. Hmm it's just an idea.

Colon Cleanse

I'm not trying to gross anyone out but.... Perhaps you should try a colon cleanse. The human intestines are huge. They can hold up to ten pounds of crap. (NO SHIT! or lots of it rather) It's not just the blockage that is the problem. When our intestines are full, our metabolisms slow, resulting in weight gain. 15 day diet cleanse is a good one if you can find it, (ebay may be a start) and you don't actually have to do it in fifteen days. You could just take a couple occasionally. I bought some 14 day ACAI Berry Cleanse, more readily available. I'll let you know how that goes.

Try some Spaghetti Squash!!

Low in calories, carbs, and way better than rubbery rotten fish!

8 effective carbs per serving and about 40 calories.

Hungery Girl is fucking CRAZY

So I am not sure if yall have heard of the "miracle noodles" its the fat free calorie free noodle that all good for diets. Well turns out if you dont have a small gold mine you can buy it at your local store its called shirataki noodles. On the package has a big hungery girl aproved with a statement about how good and guilt free they are. So yeah I bought us some thing YUM pasta is back. UHHH NO i dont think so. First off they smell like fish. They say once rinsed the smell will go away. No it does not, then they say if you boil the odd plastic texture umm also no. Yeah I wasted $6 on something that is like plastice fish in your mouth. Lydia - your advice was fantastic. I decied to save up to buy the zumba game for the Wii i hate spend money on games but this way i can save up and its still go for weight loss. =) PS fish pasta forced me buy cheese burgers. IT MADE ME DO IT.

OH Fooey!!

A good low cost reward that is not food or clothing related. If you want a long term reward, you could think of something pricey that you want and put a small amount say 5 bucks in every time you lose a pound. You could also strike a deal with Micheal where he does something that you want him to do when you lose weight. Of course the second one wouldn't work for me because it would take an act of God to get my husband to do something he didn't want to do. Probably not even then. Start a collection, if there is something that you love buy yourself one every time you reach a goal. It could be something silly. The key is it should probably be something that is a pure want and not a need, because if it is something t ht yu thik that you need chanced are that you are going to buy it for yourself anyway. Unless you need new clothes because your old ones are giant on you. I got it, Mike has to get a pedicure as your reward. Seriously he needs one. I don't know why men don't get them. I mean what man wouldn't want a Chinese girl playing with their feet. That wouldn't work with me either, my husband has lovely feet (and he wouldn't pay anyone for something that he could do himself, which is strange because I've never seen him clip his toe nails. I'll have to keep thinking about that one.
Yesterday didn't go so well for me, I ended up eating Hunan Express. Well not the whole retaurant but Kung Pao vegetables and fried rice.

216.2 / 6.3 pounds total

Week one one trying to be really good is done 5 more weeks to go. So I lost a pound for every day this week almost. Only the one day I said screw it I'm eating the cake did I not lose anything. So new goal this week is 7 pounds not much of a bigger goal only an extra few ounces, but here is my guess it's been too easy. I gear I two will get to week three and start to craw to get under that 200 mark. My mini goal right now is 194 that would be the lowest I have been since having em. I got to 195 when a graduated I was not even trying then I think just loseing the stress off school and just work at ustor is what did it. But six months later I went to work at ace and then mom got sick. Wham it all found me again. However this feb dad moved out and again it was just my little fam and ustor to deal with and poof starting to come off again. I'm almost worried about moving back in with dad and moving I would hate to gain it all back. So lydia I need help on rewards for my self that Is not food based. Te hard part is.. I already get a monthly message and pedi. I gve more clothing then any girl could want. So what is a good but low cost reward?

Living healthy

So I'm adding a new goal to me weight loss. See the idea of weight loss is to live a long healthy life. While I know that it's not a for sure thing either way being healthy must be a good start. Well it is that idea that has led me to give up my sleepig pills. Fir years I have been taking them. And to tell you Te truth I think I'm addicted. Not on the I would sell my kid for more but more the I can't sleep with out them. I'm giving up the advil pm and try some more homeopathic ways. However it appears that natural idea only got me to about 4am. While that does suck gives me time to do otter things I guess. So here is to a life of sleepy night filled with happy dreams not induced by drugs.

217.4 HMM

Yup thats right I went up two pound to go down three. Who knows what my body is doing. My guess is that I should be starting my cycle soon so the body is working its water weight. I was bad bad bad today. It appears being sick and days off are not good for diet. We went to the movie tavern which is a fantastic place that shows movies and does full service meals durring the movie. We split a burger and a monte cristo that were really good. we also got some flat bread and dip that could only be good for dog food. So even though we had a huge bad for you meal it was the only meal we had for the day. I know its bad to only eat one meal but we didnt eat till 330 and I am still stuffed so dinner was just out. Well I'm hopeing my big lunch out does not make me gain to much. so here is the tally 35 pounds to go with in 40 days!!!! Im off to a good start just have to keep it up. SOME HOW.

45 minute walk

45 minute walk accomplished- Highlights, tiptoed through blankets of evening primrose. Saw some deep purple wildflowers, haven't figured what they are yet, and little thickets of yellow blacked eyed flowers here and there. I found 3 baseballs!

Lowlights- Dog crap.

I'm off to a good start. I did skip breakfast, my bad.

Testing testing 123

This is me testing to see if I can now post from my phone. This would mean the blog would never have to wait for my important thoughts and ideas.

BMI calculatorhttp://Online BMI Calculator

Official Dr's scale weigh in 203.8

I'm not going to go WTF just an ounce this time. I have been eating like shit lately and I have the zits on my face to prove it. I want to lose atleast 3.8 pound this week. I will do this by walking for 4 hours this week. I'll start with one hour today. I am going to drink atleast 110 ounces of water daily and limit myself to no more than 1 glass of ice tea. No diet soda or crystal light crap. If I get the munchies at night I will eat a salad. I won't skip breakfast ( a bad habit of mine) but I will skip lunch if I am not hungry. If I end up going to the movies, or to a play I will not under any circumstances eat the freaking popcorn. If I lose my 3.8 pounds, I will reward myself with a new shirt. Most of my old ones look like crap on me, they are so big (which is really weird because I have not lost an ounce off my bust.). If I somehow manage to pull a rabbit out of my hat and lose 5 I will get a manicure. If I lose more than 5 I will do the happy dance and I don't care who sees me.

Darn It Found Me

Well two days of not being so good and laying in bed going auuugggghhhh cought up with me. I gained a pound for each day DAMN!!! So i am back at 220 with only 41 days to go. Really I should just mail the check today and just work towrard a normal goal. BUT its so not going Ill keep going till day zero. It would be huge if I can make it. if not I wont be to hard on my self as it is a crazy amount of weight in very little time. It took me more time then this to gain it much less to lose it.

203.9

Painfully slow weight loss, better than painfully slow weight gain. I forgot to mention that I had a moment of weakness last night. I sent Lindy into Free birds to get the way to freaking big ginormo burrito (You know the 12 dollar one). We were going to split it.Apparently the universe is conspiring to help me lose weight. The rice was barely cooked, she didn't put any refried beans in it, all it was was a mass of rotten roasted corn salsa some lettuce and some dried out black beans, and not fresh guacomole. It was so stinking gross. What could have been a heavenly experience turned into a giant disappointment. Did have a few bites of a pot brownie though and that was pretty groovy. I am dying to get under the 200 pound mark, and it feels like I am just crawling towards it. I don't feel super motivated.

Motivation found

So a re weighed my self being mad I lost nothing but turns out I ha really lost a pound!!!! So rather ten pigging out all day from my bed
I pulle my self out of bed set out some chicken to defrost for dinner told mike what we could have for lunch and even started Emily on school work. It may sound mean to make her work on Saturday but we don't on Sunday Monday cuz it's my days off from the teacher hat. So 36 pounds to go and only 43 day to do it in. Let hope I can make it. Cuz I really will need the $100 to pay for pants that fit and I'll only be two pound away from making Josh stop smoking. Yay

http://www.herroom.com/Goddess-6090-Keira-Banded-Underwire-Bra.shtml

Finally a bra that fits, is comfortable and comes in pretty colors. The winner is 36 J. I have been wearing ill fitting bras for years and it is wonderful to finally have found a good one. I may not have lost much weight lately but my shirts are loose, (probably mostly due to decent bras). I'm about to weigh myself. I'm nearly holding my breath.

Sick

Turns out when I'm sick I'm a huge diet baby. I had pasta and some cake.
I had been doin so well. I did check and no weight gain but Sure no loss either.
O well yesterday is the past and no way to cange it. I'll try to be good but hmm
I'm not sure it will happen.

500 Calories !!!!

So it turns out people who eat right are skinny for a reason. A million years ago I bought a program called calorie king. I always liked it but never used it. Yesterday i thought i would see what the calorie content of our meals were racking up to. So here goes. we had one cup coffee with 2tbs of fatfree coffe mate cream and 1/2C Strawberrys (yum) for lunch we had orange ruffy fish with lemon along with steamed broccli and cauliflower added some lemon pepper for taste. Snack was 1/2 a large apple Mike and I shared. Dinner was so good. we had 4oz rump roast with tbs of bbq sause one slice of sourdough bread and a small salad with butter lettuce and more cauliflower toped with 1tbs of fatfree ranch. Now by no means was there a feeling of OOO im so full thoughout the day but was not starvig either. this totalled up to 673 calories FOR THE WHOLE DAY!!!!! We also have a fantastic park not but a few mins away with some hikeing trails which we did for about an hour. No only was it so much fun to walk thru the tree but it also burned about 223 calories while doing it. giving me a total for the day of 443 calories for the day. I was in shock in awwww. and rewarded my self with one bite of the italian cream cake thats in my fridge. LOL that is not added to the 443 but im sure just that one bite put me back over 500 calories for the days total. either way it helped me lose two pounds. I know its not very good for us to eat so low cal so were going to try to add some extra meat to give us a boost for today but wow who would have ever thought.

Peanut Butter

Well one lost is better than one gained is all I can say. So I also have lost 2.1 pound only 37 more to go in 44 days. Yumy chocolate lol. Okay so we have gone to extreem good eattin. 4oz protin 1/2 the plate veg and one small carb. and I mean really small. Side effect I smell like peanut butter!!!!!!!!!!!!!! Really why????? why would eatting a good diet make you smell funny. I just dont get it.

205.2

Just one measly pound lost in one full week. I could say THIS SHIT SUCKS! or I could say, great at this rate I will weigh 153 by this time next year!

I didn't give anyone permission to use me as a model!!

Look Who Is Counting!!!

lol... REALLY 8 DAYS lol. I does not feel like it has been 8 days. I have been a bad bad girl. and apearntly its been going on for 8 days. I am back on track today 100% for today anyways lol. I bought some fish, chicken. Big good is so hard. I have 45 days to lose 39 pounds or I owe Josh $100.00. I better stay on track or its not going to happen. Hmm I should just write the check now lol.

If you keep on going the way your going.
You'll end up getting to where your heading.
What direction are you aiming for?

Nonfat Back

Okay so I did see Mr. peanut yesterday but it was a brief visit, just a handful of him. I can't help myself he is in my cupboard taunting me. As much as I have a compulsive urge to constantly weigh myself I am waiting until tomorrow. No special reason, just an excercise in restraint. I suspect I have lost at least some weight because I have no fat on my back, and that is a pleasant sight for me. I absolutely cannot believe that I allowed myself to become so unhealthily obese. On a positive note I found a low cal, no carb dressing that I love. Of course I do not really believe it has no calories but that is what it says on the bottle. Sadly boobies are not shrinking. 8 days no blog April?

REALLY!

Identify what you want and go for it!

-2 ounces

Since Thursday I have only lost 2 ounces. I am not exactly shocked by this. Mr.Peanut, the Planter's peanut dude became my bestest friend this week. I knew he was bad for me and even tried cheating on him with his half brother low salt Peanuts. No dice, couldn't go there. I'm breaking up with him so we will see how that works out. The only problem that I can see with this is that I have three jars in my cupboard. I have been working on a house this weekend and I have not been keeping myself properly hydrated. I went through this a couple of weeks ago so I should know better. I am so anxious to get under the 200 lb mark. When I accomplish that I will feel so relieved. I don't know why that is such abig deal for me because at 200lbs, I will still have a great deal of weight to lose.

BOOBIES

Well new bras arrived today and they don't even sort of fit. Band is gigantic and cup is tiny. So I'm guessing I'm a 36 H? I maybe? This shit sucks! Any who just wanted to share my bust adventures. Today I came to the conclusion that I love my body. I don't exactly love the way that it looks but I love that it works. Stopped taking the appetite suppressant and really don't miss them. I'm working on finding something herbal without caffeine to replace them with. Who ever said that you are what you eat really wasn't kidding. My skin is so clear right now and I attribute it to the improvement in my diet. This could be my imagination but I swear the cellulite on my rear has all but disapeared. Who ever said that you can't get rid of cellulite is a damn liar.

Rather than aiming for being perfect.
Try being a little better than you were yesterday.

Weight loss goal for next month 15 pounds

Dr.'s scale weight as of today 206.2

April 10, 2011 goal weight 191.2

Can I do it?

I think so.

Maybe.

I dunno.

It's not berry season yet, but you can't tell.

The stores are filled with beautiful delicious berries that are fragrant and taste even better. Also not high in carbs, (especially if you are just eating a handful). I have raspberries ad strawberries in the fridge right now.

NOT LOST 20 POUNDS

Well I am very happy for the Lydia and her 20 pounds that is fantastic. My friend Jen has lost 46 so far she is taking the same pills as you. I however may have very well gone backwards. I was doing so well and then we brought Annie a friend of Mikes over to the house for a few days from corpus and there is no diet or gym going on here now. God only knows if ill be able to keep from gaining weight but ill try.

Things that weigh 20 pounds.

2o8!! To celebrate my 20 pound weight loss I am posting pictures of things that weigh 20 pounds. I stole this idea and pictures off of someone elses blog.

20 pound tire

20 pound fish

20 pound dude (LOL)

So basically I was carrying this little guy around with me 24/7.

That's kind of creepy!

Official Dr's scale weigh in 209.6

I think I can, I think can, I think I can.

Picture Day

I took a close up photograph of my face today. Of course my hair was completely flat on the top and frizzed out on the bottom and I didn't have any make up on whatsoever. I am going to take a photo of myself each week so that I can see how I my face changes with my weight loss. I can honestly see a difference, not much of a difference with my body but there is definately a difference in my face. My double chin is smaller LOL. It was a bad picture but I have taken worse. I think my breasts lost a little mass so when I get my size 36 quadruple giant bras they probably won't fit, but if I pay return postage to freaking England I will be able to get the correct size but then by the time those get here they may not fit either sigh.... I have exactly one bra that sort of fits me. But I guess I shouldn't be whining about needing new bras because I am losing weight and that is not a bad trade off. Maybe I will be able to actually buy a bra in a store some day soon. One can always hope. Cooking for the family doesn't even bother me aymore, I have no desire to eat anything that is bad for me (most of the time anyway). I still can't say no to birthday cake. I started thinking about what I have done differently this week as opposed to last week when I actually gained weight and I think that the most important difference is that I drank a lot of water. I know that staying properly hydrated is so important for my body t o function and to lose weight. Do not eat anything without drinking at least one glass of water. That's my health advice for the day. Okay one more thing as this is important I don't care what anyone says, take a multivitamin. I don't like taking regular vitamins, they nauseate me I only do a liquid or chewable.

I am in shock!

I lost a few more pounds 212. I can do this. I don't know how I am losing so fast but I'm not complaining. My official weigh in at the Dr's office is on Monday, I don't think I will quite believe it til I weigh myself there. Maybe the scale is busted?? I'll keep you updated. I was bad bad bad, went to a birthday party and skipped the pizza but ate a small piece of cake. I think that I may think it is a sin not to eat birthday cake. It was homemade, I am trying to convince myself that it has less than 20 carbs in it and that it won't effect my weight loss.

Steak and Veg

we made a yumy Steak with vegs and salad

•Grilled or Pan-fried Steak (5 oz raw)
•1 cup green beans, prepared as you like them
•1 cup Mushroom and Peppers with Wine and Herbs ( see recipe )

Ingredients:
•1 cup chopped red Bell pepper
•8 oz sliced mushrooms
•2 cloves garlic
•1 t dried thyme or 1 T fresh thyme
•2 T dry white wine or chicken stock
•small amount of olive oil to coat pan
Preparation:
Heat the oil in the pan on medium-high, and add the mushrooms. Cook until they begin to brown and add the peppers. Cook for 2-3 minutes,and then add salt and pepper, and the garlic and herbs. Cook for 30 more seconds (don't burn the garlic!), and add the wine or stock. Cook until the liquid evaporates.

Makes two pretty large servings, each with 7 grams of carb plus 3 grams of fiber.

Creamy Southwest Chicken

This skillet chicken dish is one you can have on the table in 20 minutes, start to finish, using canned green chiles and shredded cheese. The chiles are mild, so this isn't a spicy dish, but is a tasty one. Serve with refried beans and/or a salad and sliced avocado.

Prep Time: 20 minutes
Total Time: 20 minutesIngredients:
•1 lb boneless skinless chicken breasts
•1/4 C minced onion
•2 cloves minced garlic
•6-8 oz canned chopped green chiles (depending on can size)
•Optional: small amt of chicken stock or Better than Boullion
•1/4 C cream
•1/3 C shredded cheddar or jack cheese
•Olive oil
•Salt, pepper
Preparation:
1) Heat large skillet with oil.

2) Cut chicken into bite sized pieces and season with salt and pepper. Saute' till brown on both sides, adding onions about half way through.

3) Add garlic and cook for another minute.

4) If needed, deglaze the pan with a little water or chicken stock. Add 1 teaspoon Better Than Bouillon if desired.

5) Add green chiles and cream, and simmer until chicken is done and sauce is thickened.

6) Top with cheese, and serve when cheese melts.

Optional garnish: avocado slices; cilantro

Makes 3-4 servings

Nutritional Analysis for each of 3 servings: 4.5 grams of effective carbohydrate plus 1.5 grams fiber, 38 grams protein, 18 grams of fat, 347 calories.

The Race Is On

1st PLACE Lydia 15 pounds

2nd PLACE Angela 10 pounds

3rd PLACE April 6 pounds

good job girls!!!!!!

Looks like ill have to get my butt in gear or y'all will whip my butt.

215.4 YES!!!!

I don't know why I weighed myself, probably just looking for an excuse to eat a Zinger. The actually scale said 211.4 but I happento know that it is 4 pounds off. I'm pretty pleased with myself, it's a start.

PLUS 1/2 A POUND 220.8

I'm a little dissapointed I gained 1/2 a pound. These are the things I did wrong last week. I didn't walk at all. I ate too many blackberries and probably too much oil and I did not drink nearly enough water. I also had a meltdown and ate popcorn, icecream, and bread yesterday. Not to mention I did not take any appetite suprresants. So this week I am not going to eat any berries, I'm going to drink plenty of water and try my best to walk every day and I forgive myself for being week and eating crap but next time that happens I don't need to eat all that crap that is just stupid. Didn't really follow the diet right besides the point. I started eating vegan burgers, veggie sausage etc, all low in calories and carbs but definately not on the diet.

PF Mike's

So mike found PH Chang's lettuce wraps recipe. they were very yumy and even diet friendly

Ingredients:
Servings:
2 2 2-3 Servings Size

Update


3 tablespoons oil
2 boneless skinless chicken breasts
1 cup water chestnut
2/3 cup mushroom
3 tablespoons chopped onions
1 teaspoon minced garlic
4 -5 leaves iceberg lettuce


Special Sauce
1/4 cup sugar
1/2 cup water
2 tablespoons soy sauce
2 tablespoons rice wine vinegar
2 tablespoons ketchup
1 tablespoon lemon juice
1/8 teaspoon sesame oil
1 tablespoon hot mustard
2 teaspoons water
1 -2 teaspoon garlic and red chile paste


Stir Fry Sauce
2 tablespoons soy sauce
2 tablespoons brown sugar
1/2 teaspoon rice wine vinegar


Directions:
Prep Time: 10 mins

Total Time: 25 mins
1 Make the special sauce by dissolving the sugar in water in a small bowl.
2 Add soy sauce, rice wine vinegar, ketchup, lemon juice and sesame oil.
3 Mix well and refrigerate this sauce until you're ready to serve.
4 Combine the hot water with the hot mustard and set this aside as well.
5 Eventually add your desired measurement of mustard and garlic chili sauce to the special sauce mixture to pour over the wraps.
6 Bring oil to high heat in a wok or large frying pan.
7 Saute chicken breasts for 4 to 5 minutes per side or done.
8 Remove chicken from the pan and cool.
9 Keep oil in the pan, keep hot.
10 As chicken cools mince water chestnuts and mushrooms to about the size of small peas.
11 Prepare the stir fry sauce by mixing the soy sauce, brown sugar, and rice vinegar together in a small bowl.
12 When chicken is cool, mince it as the mushrooms and water chestnuts are.
13 With the pan still on high heat, add another Tbsp of vegetable oil.
14 Add chicken, garlic, onions, water chestnuts and mushrooms to the pan.
15 Add the stir fry sauce to the pan and saute the mixture for a couple minutes then serve it in the lettuce"cups".
16 Top with"Special Sauce".

Banquets and such

A big shout out goes to the CCCTA's council President thanks to her frugality, the plate that the waiter plopped down in front of me was the exact same thing that we had at last years banquet (as I remembered it the chicken fried steak wasn't very good) It wasn't hard to pass. I immediately removed the chocolate cake from in front of me and gave it away. It didn't even piss me off when everyone raved about the cake. It was the same damn cake that we had last year and as I remember it sucked. I told them that apparently they didn't know good cake because it looked like the same cake from last year and it was nothing special. I took a bite of the cheesy mashed potatoes and discovered they were big surprise from a box. What the hell kind of place uses boxed potatoes. Twenty bucks a plate for this REALLY? I skipped those too. I did eat all of my salad, and drizzled a tiny bit of ranch on it. I also had seconds on my veggies. I have to admit I was really dreading going to the banquet, I am not particularly social (even though I consider myself to be friendly). I just knew that I would stuff my face in order to get through it. It was not so bad, it was nice actually, I was seated with people that I knew and did not despise. The conversation was pleasant. I am pretty sure I can do this!

BAD BAD BAD ME

Heres Lydia being all motivated and here I am making cookies with Emily. So 4 of them later and the hamberger and frys I would say the day was a loss. O well there is always the next day. Also going on a litle vacation to Austin so I would say rest the week till next Tuesday is a bust. I am however going on about a 10-15 mile walk so i hope that will off set it a little tiny bit.

Change

Geez I have so much to say I hardly know where to begin. I'll probably ramble and jump from one topic to the next. I have been thinking about change lately, and it is not enough to just want some things to change in order for change to occur you have to work for it. You also have to know what it is exactly that you want to change. One of the things that I want to change is the way that feel and look. (I'll enlighten you on the rest later) I want to transform myself from the soft mass of flesh I have become to a slimmer fitter me. I don't have a spell that it is going to melt the fat off my body and allow me to slip into a pair of size 7 jeans and I suspect that no one else does either. What I do have is the ability to consistently make good choices. This isn't always going to be easy, but if I keep in mind my goals, I may find the strength to stay on track. I'll remind myself what the purpose of my actions are. This applies to so many things in my life. More on that later.

I have a Banquet to go to tonight and rather than try and find something to wear in my very sad sad sad closet I decided to buy something new. So I go to the fat girl store. I don't normally shop at the fat girl store and not because I don't need to either. I just didn't ever really want to admit that I had joined THAT club. I have joined it in a BIG way believe me. I am this moment trying to get my membership revoked. I bought a sweater which I don't need because it is not at all cold. But it was sooo sooo soft and comfy and it flattered me. I am hoping to wear it in Nasville next month, it will still be cool there (Maybe). I also purchased a very nice pair of black pants that were somewhat flattering. They were more flattering after I bought some tight like gut sucker things. Also picked up a couple pairs of shoes size 10 wide. Then I decided to wear a dress I already had and my new boots to the banquet. I figure I have artistic license when it comes to my clothing choice because I am the Arts and Education chair. My Batik printed turquoise dress may b a little on the loud side. Where was I? I saw myself in the 3 sizes too small outfit that I picked out to wear shopping and I decided that it needed to go away along with ALOT of other clothes in my closet. Here was my criteria for keepsies, If it fits and I don't hate it keep it til I grow out of it. If it doesn't fit and it's not something that I love and would motivate me to lose weight so I can wear it, then ditch it. I got rid of alot of stuff and I haven't even done the massive amount of laundry that I have. I am keeping a couple of ratty tees and some ugly ass pants so that I can paint in them. I do that occasionally.
Oh jokes on me, apparently the eight pounds I lost came almost entirely from my back so now my bras that didn't fit too good in the first place really don't fit me. Notice I did not say lost weigh in the breasts. This is a cruel joke if you ask me, not even Catherines has my size 36H. Yes go ahead and laugh, it's freaking hilarious. I had to order bras from England who apparently love boobies more than the US. I am currently wearing a 38DDDD and it sorta almost fits uncomfortable with the band as tight as it goes. If the breasts don't leave me I am getting a breast reduction if they do leave I am getting a breast lift. Probably a tummy tuck too while I am at it. I'll go to Mexico and have it done. I DO NOT CARE!!!!
Weighed myself yesterday at the grocery store and it said I had gained 2 ounces. Stupid lying bastard HEB pharmacy scale.

Week 1

Im glad you enjoyed the photos I had so much fun making diet food that still looked
good to eat. While it has nothing to do with the diet, I bought me first real set of dishes and silverwear. So now my preaty food will be sitting on nice looking plates. I only lost a total of 3 pounds for the first week which was not all that fantastic but a start. I too need to do better on the exercise front. Im skipping the gym tonight but I am so sore form walking for 3.5 hours at the outlet mall I think its a trade of.

A little lighter 220.8

Not bad for my first week but I could have done better. I need to walk no matter what, no excuses! When I said I ate slices of cheese as snacks, that was a bit of an understatement. More like cheese wedges, I was really really bad. I'll do better next week. I realize that I can't expect to lose as much next week but I am moving forward. I have decided that my longterm goal weight will be 145 pounds, which is on the heavy side of my ideal weight. My body type can carry off a few extra pounds quite well,just not 100 extra pounds. I don't know if any one can do that. I certainly have enjoyed April's food pictures, I'll try and post a few myself this week.

Be Strong

HOLD ON LYDIA -----
Im so proud of you for holding up. I however have not been so good. We consider
sunday a free day. I had eggs benedict some popcorn at the movies and Chicken
alfredo with whole wheat pasta. which really over all none of it was that bad
dinner was approved and right out of the diet book. Tomorrow were off to the
outlet malls I'm hoping to be able to withstand the overkill of food.

So is there any way you can cut these said pills in half maybe that would be less hard on you.

Either way good luck, I also need to start walking/gym again but my guess it will
be tuesday as we have tomorrow off and ill be walking miles at the mall anyways.

Cheese Please

I had a grilled cheese sandwich for lunch today. Made with a high fiber low carb bread. I have been eating alot of vegetables and honestly I am getting a little bored. I bought some shrimp to put on my salads but I have not started doing that yet. The weekend was incredibly hard for me as I am cooking multiple meals a day for the kids and just seeing thier food makes me hungry but I have not succombed to temptation not even for a taste. I have however snacked on slices of cheese, in between meals which is a no no and I haven't walked in a few days. I will do better tomorrow. I called the Dr and they are unwilling to change my prescription, they said that I should take the pills a week and then decide. So I am going to give it another try. Honestly I need the help. I have no will power, this weekend has been tremendously hard. My family has a rude awakening, they are going to be eating alot healthier. There are no cookies, or sweets in the house whatsoever. Tomorrow I go to the clinic for another B-12 shot and an official weigh in. Anything lower than 222 will be fine with me. I am so so so tired of being FAT!!!

Diet Friendly Chicken Tacos

So it turns out corn tortillas are GI Diet friendly
which worked just fine for my Mexican dinner night.

TACOS
- Chicken boneless skinless tenders
- re fried beans (home made)
- Cilantro (topping)
- lettuce (topping)
- tomato's (topping)

Beans
- dried pinto beans (wash and sort)
- fill pan with water an inch or two above beans
- 1 chicken bullion cube
- 1/4 to 1/2 C Cilantro ( to your liking)
- 1 - 2 roman tomato's
- 1/2 onion
- 2TBS of chopped garlic

put all in water and let simmer for 2 - 3 hours till tender

mash part of the beans once finished to use as refried beans.

Grown-Up Grilled Cheese

Thanks to fun trip to The Raven with my Mrs Alydia and Lindy we
ran across this very yummy take on grilled cheese. I am now way
a vegitarian but if i could find more meals like this one I sure
could become one. To enjoy one of your own.

- 2 slices of sourdough bread
- Roman tomatos
- three or four slices of freash mozzarella cheese
- pesto
- 1tsp olive oil / Pam Spray

On one slice of bread spread pesto not to thick a little goes a long way. add
think slices of tomato, thicker if you like. add mozzaralla on next. Not to thick
as they made of fat. add other slice of bread. Heat a pan and add olive oil or pam and brown bread on both side. I served with salad and low fat dressing.

Check-In Day 221.5

Im going to make saturday my check in day.
So far I have lost 3.5 pounds. Im sure its all
water weight but ill take it. Nothing fits better
and over all everything is the same. However if
the scale keeps moving down I'll be happy. I did
make if for a walk yesterday and plan to go to the
gym today without Mike as he does not want to go.
Why we are paying for his membership is he does not
want to go is beyond me. I am going to get his starting
weight today. I know he thinks he is in such great shape
but he is not and its unsafe to have all the beer belly
fat around his organs.

Fantastic Foods

Dinner was fantastic so I must share.

Grilled steak with Horseradish Sauce

- 2 lbs. extra lean steak
- 1 TB olive oil
- 1tsp dried rosemary crushed
- 1/2 tsp. coarse sea salt
- Sauteed baby bella mushrooms

Horseradish Sause

- 1/4C mayo
- 1TB horseradish
- 1tb. chopped or dried parsley
- 1/2 tsp ground black pepper

Cheese Sweet potato sticks ( for two people)

- 1 Lg sweet potato
- 1tsp garlic powder
- 1/2 - 1 tsp cayenne Pepper powder
- 1/4C butter or olive oil
- 1/4C Parmesan Cheese

Pre Heat oven to 450 degrees
Cut potatos in to frys do not peal place in bowl.
coat frys in oil saving tiny bit for pan. toss with
garlic and cayenne place on baking pan lined with tin
foil and oiled in a single layer. cook each side about
10-15 mins. when browned remove and coat with cheese.

223 and going (down we hope)

Lost two pounds so far. Today I have been very good. Apple with almond butter for breakfast. Left over chilli for lunch and we are having steak and Vegs with baked sweet potatos. Never got to my strawberrys yesterday so I plan to tonight. I also have wrote out a meal plan for the next 7 days all low GI and GL. I am going to try to go for a walk today but not sure its going to happen as I feel like crap yet again today. O how i just love being a girl. GRRRRR. Tomorrow should be better. Mike is already trying to get out of the gym for the rest of the week so I think I'll go on my own tomrrow as long as I dont fall over when I stand like today.

Phntermine NO THANK YOU

The verdict on the appetite suppresant is NO! I tried it today and it was for shit, sure it kills your appetite, food will taste like a foreign object in your mouth and not in a good way either. I could probably deal with that but it is making me uncomfortably warm. So I am going to skip the pills. I didn't walk today.

Sorta Kinda Going

Today in general sucked. I didnt feel good at all. I had a low fat smoothie for breakfast, Lunch was a chesse crips while not supper good for my better then pizza which was my only other left over choice in the fridge. Dinner was chili a very small bowl. I am going to have some fresh strawberrys for dessert. I had planned to walk around a bit today after work however my loving child decied to ruin a $400 TV and the dresser my mother bought for my by carving in to both. After doing my best not to want to hurt her. She is now doing math homework and will be till she goes to bed. Im not sure why kids think messing things up is a good idea. I really think that there brain is just half off. I do know that if she thinks I am buying her anything before her B-day she is crazy. I also know that her gifts are going to be small and not all that great. I have come to the idea if you give a kid nothing they will love nothing all the more. Other then making em do math and clean my house for the next few days i am looking forward to going shoping the fridge is getting more and more empty and ill be able to re stock with some healthy options. GOOD JOB LYDIA.
I have not weighed my self yet but im sure i lost nothing lol.

For Rosa

Rosa I am so glad that you got online. I just wanted ot encourage you and let you know that you can do this. I have gained 10 pounds a year for the last 10 years and without making a major lifestyle change I can only see myself getting heavier in the future. I don't know if this is something that anyone else does but as soon as I feel even a little stress, I turn to food for comfort. I need this to change! I am working on developing healthier habits. One thing that I can do instead of eat is write. So write with us Rosa.

222.2!!!!!

I went in to pick up my appetite suppressant at the clinic today and I just had to weigh myself. 222.2 WTF? I lost six pounds in just 3 full days REALLY? WOW! I didn't get to walk for 45 minutes yesterday as planned because their was a change in L's schedule and that sabotaged my walk during lil K's clas plan. Then because I took lil K with me and he was crying after 30 minutes,and saying that his legs hurt I ended my evening walk after 30 minutes. Last night I had the munchies and ate celery and cream cheese and a few slices of jalapeno jack cheese after 6 pm which is a big no no. I made myself feel better by reminding myself that these things are on my diet. I made a fried egg sandwich for breakfast(and I buttered both pieces of toast). I put some fresh roasted jalepenos in my sandwich. They were not hot at all and that was a little dissapointing. I love heat, the hotter the better. I am going to try to eat a bigger dinner tonight and hopefully that will help curb my evening appetite. I think I am going to eat a stuffed bell pepper, not sure what I am going to stuff it with probably a sauteed vegetable and some eggs. I really believe that I can do this diet and stay vegetarian but we shall see. Right before I weighed myself I was mentally preparing myself for the facr that I may not have lost any weight at all. Towards the end of my last go round with weight loss I was only losing a pound a week and that was a bit disapointing. I want to be healthy and strong for my children. Ranger loves to run and he said that he wants t o join the running club at school. He is so fast big K can't even keep up with him. I want to be able to run with him someday. The lobster and crab and even the butter is not terrible for you April, just skip the potatos.

Day Two and Three

So for day two I had a smoothie for breakfast and chicken and vegs on pita for lunch. After work Mike and I joined a Gym and promptly messed up the days hard work with going out to eat at red lobster. I decided it was a meal for mom as she was the true love of crab and lobster but it sure was good none the less. I had to figure out how crack the crab on my own as mom has always done it for me. with a little help and a lot of laughter from mike we got there. Today we are going to actually work out at the gym. What really nice is they have a play area for Emily so she gets time away from us and we get time away from her. They offer Zumba as a group class and I am thinking about trying it out but not tonight. As for meals I was bad and skipped breakfast. Kept thinking I would get to it and it never happened for lunch we had left over Chinese food. Which I sure is in no way good for me, but I am also not about to toss all the food in my house so were just going to work on buying healthier. For dinner we having butterfly pork chop with so left over potato au gratin again not 100% good for us but some one has to eat or we throw it away.

Day 3 for Ying

Astonishingly enough I actually walked 45 minutes yesterday. My son informed me that 45 minutes of walking is nothing to which I replied, "It's a lot compared to nothing". So today I am prepared to move forward which either means walk 45 minutes again or walk an hour. I haven't started taking the appetite suprressant yet. Todays breakfast was an egg fried in a tiny bit of real butter, low carb bread, and Sun Harvest Pepper Jack cheese. All of which fit within my diet guidelines. For lunch I am going to have celery and cream cheese. Dinner will involve boiled eggs and salad for sure. Yesterday I bought all of the vegetables on my approved list so I have plenty to choose from. I considered buyig fish but just could not bring myself to do it. I will have to wait until Kelly comes home and we can catch something. I have the perfect plan for walking this afternoon. I am going to try and walk while lil Kel is in his class. A different area will be a nice change as well, although I don't really mind walking here around the park. There are always people walking the same route as me.

Day 2

One of the main points of my new healthy eating is no eating after six, this will be hard for me as I love eating after six o'clock. I was good lastnight and when I started getting the munchies I made a cup of raspberry hibiscus herbal tea. It was a little on the weak side for some reason, either I didn't let it steep long enough or it is just not a very good brand. I reread my diet paperwork and it said a minumum of 30 minutes of continuos excercise a day. I might just try and add 15 minutes on to my walk today. We shall see. My biggest challenge yesterday was when I went to the bank to fax 30 pages of loan paperwork. They were having a Valentine's celebration and they had cupcakes and punch for all the customers. the cupcalkes were so pretty. They were white with Hot pink frosting and chocolate with red frosting. The chocolate with red frosting reminded me of the red velvet pancakes that I had at the Lux Cafe on Sunday. So there I was sitting near cupckes near cupcakes for 1/2 an hour, I just know that Brandy was laughing somwhere. She probably arranged fore the scent of vanilla to linger beneath my nose. I was good though, the only thing that got me through it was knowing that my husband will kill mw for spending money on a diet plan and immediately after eating cupcakes. I really feel that I may be saving money in the long run because I won't be buying or eating a bunch of crap. That is just a theory though. I think that I will go for my walk at 9 am. I need to establish some kind of a routine.

225 =!

Well like Lydia Im sick of being fat. Unlike her I have been sick of it for a long time, but to lazy to do anything about it. I however am not starting today but tomorrow. I am having a big serving of pizza for love day with the hubby and I refuse to give up love day. I can not put much money for any special advice so we have bought some books on the GI Diet and Mike and I are going to start fallowing that. the other big help is today my dad left for AZ while ill miss him lots it will make having only vags for a meal from time to time not a problem. I am thinking about joining a gym but might just try to walk 30 mins a day. Lydia you need an ipod nothing better to have when working out is to have your ipod talk to you. I plan to post several times a week and hope to share yumy things I have to eat that are good for us and dont suck. I also plan to log my weight. thats all for now my pizza showed up and Im going to enjoy it tons yum yum.

228 :(

I have been uncomfortable with my appearance at times but I have never been physically uncomfortable with my weight until now. Some people may be just fine at 228 lbs but for me it is taxing on my body as well as spirit. I used to have so much energy but these days I am just so drained. I am ready for some change so I decided to put my money where my mouth is. I went to the internet medical clinic here in town an plopped down 200 for my first two months of b-12 injections and appetite suppressants. I also got a custom made diet plan which consists of mostly protein and some select veggies. I love vegetables so there will be no problem there. I am going to try and learn to eat fish (maybe). Part of my weight loss plan also includes 30 minutes of walking 5-6 times per week. The weather was lovely today and it was not a problem. I will however need to get a new MP3 player as Lindy demolished the nice one that Kelly bought me for my birthday last year. This was pretty sad for me because it is probably the only birthday present he has ever given me. Walking without anytrhing to listen to is really boring for me, that is probably the thing that I hate most about excercise, how boring it is. I love to bicycle. When I lived in Germany, I bicycled for 1.5 to 2 hours daily and it is one of my fondest memories.Of course I had a kick ass bike. It was a K-2 mountain bike. I don't know if they sell them here. I have a 60 dollar Walmart job now and it is piece of shit. At the time that I bought it I was just grateful to have a bicycle. It is about 8 years old now but it has not gotten alot of use. I may try and go out bike riding this afternoon. I would like to bicycle to the duck pond and feed the ducks. I have a lot of stale bread that I need to get rid of. The other reason that I haven';t been particularly excited about bicycling when I used to be passionate about it is that there is rewally no safe place to do so here in Corpus. Cars are rather inconsiderate of bicyclists here. Walking is probably better for my weight loss though.

New Starts

well today I sent an invite to my Rosa, It will be nice to have some company on here and maybe motivate me to get back on track. As of today Im 225 and really need to work on this darn weight. So come on rosa log on and let us both lose lots of weight =)