Funk Be Gone

Made it thru all of moms clothing yet again. this time to pull stuff out the rest of the family might want. They all seemed shocked that I was not wanting to keep ever last sock. Will her socks bring her back or make them more easy. NO more then anything its a big pile of reminders why hold on to that. I got ahold of Mishy. THe first cloak mom got was given to her from Mishy so I needed to see if she wanted it back. I also had the dress mom wore to my brothers wedding so i called them to see if they wanted that. Then had to call gram and ask her about some stuff that she had made for her. and things that were gergrams. Making all these calls just rings to close to home of Dec 4th. But just ask Joshua I have no idea how hard it is to call some one and tell them she was dead. Really, for some reason I remember being the only family memeber there to do it. If it wernt for Lydia I would been 100% alone. And alone is just how I feel now. I have anxity over the most stupid stuff. I cry all the damn time and I hate feeling this way. Living with dad is not all bad but I live in a constent fear of upseting him or saying somthing dumb to set him off. My life feel so lost and huge lack of purpose is fallowing me around like a dark cloud. Only there is no clouds here its 110 and sunny.