Ready Set UM NO NOT YET

Interview went well. Maybe to well. They want me to work full time!!! So even though I really wanted to give this a try its not going to work. I thought about putting Emily in school for about two hours. The whole time a felt like crying and determined myself the most awful mom alive. I hate that the normal thing almost every parent does makes me feel like such a bad parent. Then again the lady at the job was not helping much. Her 4 year old called from school on her cell phone WTF cell phone. yeah I thought that too. and the started to cry because her boyfriend broke up with her. WTH OMG boyfirend and Im thinking about sending my kid to one of these places UM NO. But non the less I called gram who is all about getting em back in school and asked her to find some options for me. Talked to Mike about it. Godbless him or curse him but he put the breaks on the whole deal. School is a no go for him. He hated it. He saw how much em hated it and how much it changed her the first time. He is in no way on board with sending her back to public school. So back to square one. Home school starts Monday. I have no job. LOL Its funny how by not being able to do it all I feel bad. Its really sick. Mom said for me to stop but its like an addiction. I want to be able to work, go to school, and homeschool em. If only there were three of me. On positive note. We did discover that the metro train they have here goes all the way to Tempe so it would still be 35-45 min trip out there it would cost a whole lot less taking the train then driving and i can study while we get there. I dont have a track right by my house but with in two miles and dad said he would drop me off or watch em while mike does. On to other goals. Gave up Joe for one day but last night really really sucked. the last few days and nights have really. I just keep thinking about mom and it makes so very sad. weight loss was not amazing but ill take it im at 213.00 so 4.4 pounds down. I only had a small goal of 5 for the month so maybe ill be able to double it. but im not going to hold my breath on that idea.

I really need to get in to a grove here and find like minded people for support. THIS FUCKING SUCKS I WANT MY MOM!!!!!!!!!!!!!