Geez I have so much to say I hardly know where to begin. I'll probably ramble and jump from one topic to the next. I have been thinking about change lately, and it is not enough to just want some things to change in order for change to occur you have to work for it. You also have to know what it is exactly that you want to change. One of the things that I want to change is the way that feel and look. (I'll enlighten you on the rest later) I want to transform myself from the soft mass of flesh I have become to a slimmer fitter me. I don't have a spell that it is going to melt the fat off my body and allow me to slip into a pair of size 7 jeans and I suspect that no one else does either. What I do have is the ability to consistently make good choices. This isn't always going to be easy, but if I keep in mind my goals, I may find the strength to stay on track. I'll remind myself what the purpose of my actions are. This applies to so many things in my life. More on that later.
I have a Banquet to go to tonight and rather than try and find something to wear in my very sad sad sad closet I decided to buy something new. So I go to the fat girl store. I don't normally shop at the fat girl store and not because I don't need to either. I just didn't ever really want to admit that I had joined THAT club. I have joined it in a BIG way believe me. I am this moment trying to get my membership revoked. I bought a sweater which I don't need because it is not at all cold. But it was sooo sooo soft and comfy and it flattered me. I am hoping to wear it in Nasville next month, it will still be cool there (Maybe). I also purchased a very nice pair of black pants that were somewhat flattering. They were more flattering after I bought some tight like gut sucker things. Also picked up a couple pairs of shoes size 10 wide. Then I decided to wear a dress I already had and my new boots to the banquet. I figure I have artistic license when it comes to my clothing choice because I am the Arts and Education chair. My Batik printed turquoise dress may b a little on the loud side. Where was I? I saw myself in the 3 sizes too small outfit that I picked out to wear shopping and I decided that it needed to go away along with ALOT of other clothes in my closet. Here was my criteria for keepsies, If it fits and I don't hate it keep it til I grow out of it. If it doesn't fit and it's not something that I love and would motivate me to lose weight so I can wear it, then ditch it. I got rid of alot of stuff and I haven't even done the massive amount of laundry that I have. I am keeping a couple of ratty tees and some ugly ass pants so that I can paint in them. I do that occasionally.
Oh jokes on me, apparently the eight pounds I lost came almost entirely from my back so now my bras that didn't fit too good in the first place really don't fit me. Notice I did not say lost weigh in the breasts. This is a cruel joke if you ask me, not even Catherines has my size 36H. Yes go ahead and laugh, it's freaking hilarious. I had to order bras from England who apparently love boobies more than the US. I am currently wearing a 38DDDD and it sorta almost fits uncomfortable with the band as tight as it goes. If the breasts don't leave me I am getting a breast reduction if they do leave I am getting a breast lift. Probably a tummy tuck too while I am at it. I'll go to Mexico and have it done. I DO NOT CARE!!!!
Weighed myself yesterday at the grocery store and it said I had gained 2 ounces. Stupid lying bastard HEB pharmacy scale.
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